The memories that haunt me,

the thoughts that remain,

the past and the darkness

must be washed away,

to look to the future,

to turn from the night,

to rise with the dawning

to dance in the light.

Sometimes I am fearful

and faith runs away.

Sometimes I am weary

with nothing to pray.

Anxious and lonely,

scared and alone

I long for the sunlight

to flood these dark days.

Oh Light,

Oh peace,

Come and fill these days

Oh love,

Oh grace

Come and fill this life.

The past is behind me,

it's buried and gone.

I turn to the sunlight

to carry me on

The future it calls me,

I wish to be whole

to live in the daylight

with peace in my soul.

Perhaps the most honest I have been for quite a while

For every broken promise:
grace.
For every dream that died:
grace.
For every failed work:
grace.
For every broken life:
grace.
For all of fallen humanity
grace,
For our shame, our pain,
our troubles, our strife,
our tears, our fears,
all that we cannot do,
all that we fail to do,
our rights and our wrongs,
for our very best and our darkest worst
grace.
for you,
for me
grace.

For some reason or other it's rather dark today.
Grey clouds have descended,
I feel their weight upon my shoulders.
Melancholy, drifting from piano,
room to room looking for the spark.
The light is here, but I seem to be looking downwards,
missing it's ever watchful gaze.
No doubt there are songs still locked away,
waiting for discovery..
but not today.

Sometimes I worry that I am not being totally honest.
More often than not I find that my songs
speak of darkness, hopelessness, pain and shame,
however I then tend to bring them all to an ending
of hope and lightness as if, in the midst of real suffering and real darkness,
light magically appears to set all things right.
To put it another way, I am concerned that most of my songs are
spiritual fairy tales.
I wish to write of true struggles without saccharine endings.
Songs that can be left without a happy conclusion where God rides in
and "heals and restores my soul".
I have been, and clearly many have been, in places
where the darkness overwhelms all light
and comfort is far, far away.
At these times even my knowledge of truth,
my love of grace, mercy and love,
these enduring themes of my life and my lyrics,
seem to be locked out of my heart.
My creativity deserts me, I am left with an empty pen
and an absent melody.
If I write, I feel compelled to create something that
does not represent my true situation,
or, when rising briefly to glimpse hope and light,
I write songs that deny the journey that has many more dark places to visit.
Am I scared to be honest, that my "audience"
will reject my vulnerability?
Am I incapable of writing three dark verses,
leaving the answers unsaid
and beyond experience?
These are challenging questions.
All I know is that, at times, I am a survivor. I do eventually return
from the dark cave, and the black night, and
I meet again with a sense, a frail sense,
of grace, mercy and love.
I again know peace and love.
Now, to put that into lyrics,
that is the challenge