Old memories die hard.
They resurrect themselves
Just when you've finished the burial.
Old memories haunt you,
Accuse you,
Rob you,
Deny you a future
Whilst imprisoned in the past
Where the deeds are judged
More harshly
Than the good remembered.
My memories follow me,
They link their tendrils
Around my guilty mind
Until I agree
With their tainted words.
Memories,
God, deliver me
From these memories.



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Sometimes.

Sometimes,
The light is dim
And the dark
Is grey.
Sometimes
The way is hid,
And the path
Obscured
Sometimes,
Knowing is misunderstanding
And thinking is confused
Sometimes,
Seeing is blind
And hearing is dulled
Sometimes, many times,
I am confused,
But then
Who can say they see,
And hear,
And know
And understand.
Sometimes
The path and the way,
Is only seen in hindsight.
Sometimes?
Perhaps more than we could admit,
If we weren't pretending
That there weren't
"Sometimes"


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Faith

Faith,
Holding on,
Steadfast and true.
Faith,
Unwavering,
A belief structure
Protected by the faithful
Faith,
What exactly do we have faith in?
Sometimes I worry
That faith is not a force,
Sometimes I worry
That faith
Is a fence.


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I'm drifting,
The sounds of the waters,
Lapping against the hull.
I'm thinking,
Struggling to find a way,
So many thoughts,
So many questions,
So many,
Simply too many,
And so,
I'm drifting
Listening
As the waters
Lap,
Against the hull.


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Doubt.

How can we know
when the unknown
surrounds us?
how can we see,
when the darkness
blinds our sight?
how can we speak,
when our words
fail us?
how can we find
when we refuse
to accept our lostness?
Doubt becomes my answer,
for in doubt,
I can struggle
with my faith
and my faith can struggle
with me,
in doubt
I permit myself
to be
me.
my answers?
they are fluid
and in constant process.

Ask

Ask,
Seek,
Question.
Be restless for more,
Reject what you have been told
And find what you will learn.
An answer will only come
To an enquiring mind.
Step outside,
Leave conformity,
Find yourself
Looking for yourself.
The truth will always be
Far greater than you expect,
Eternity will always baffle
The here and now.
Do you want to know?
Do you wish to find?
Have courage
And start the journey.


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Sometimes.

Sometimes...
I lose my grip,
Sometimes,
a cloud obscures the light.
Sometimes,
I have more questions
Sometimes,
the answers are irrelevant.
and I find myself yet again,
restless,
struggling,
nowhere to run,
nowhere to hide,
is there comfort in all of this,
a voice of reason,
words that affirm?
my life answers me
with the knowledge
of the precious things
that have always remained.